We spent the July long weekend in Kelowna at a soccer tournament. As soon as the calendar switched from June to July, Yohannes started counting down the days to his birthday (even though he had already had his birthday party).
On the drive home, he asked me, “Mom, can you give me a hint about what you bought me for my birthday?”
“No, I can’t,” I said.
“Ahhhh…. Why not?” he pressed.
“Well, because we haven’t bought you a birthday present yet” I said.
“You haven’t?” he asked with utter astonishment.
“No, we haven’t” I soberly answered.
He has continued to count down the days to his birthday, and truly I had been hoping that we could just slide by it without any notice. I guess that is too much to hope for when your child is turning nine. He has already received so many presents for his birthday, though none on his birthday – it is hard for me to ponder buying or giving more. Wasn’t the 18-speed bicycle that we bought to replace the one he had out-grown through the winter enough? Wasn’t the $15/kid for his birthday party enough? Won’t it be enough that I am going to take the kids to the Calgary Stampede (The greatest outdoor show on earth!) on his birthday? I know the answers to all of these questions – but I don’t like the answer.
Our kids have been born into the blessed - land of abundance. Though I may momentarily pause in gratitude, between pauses, it feels a bit like a runaway train. My kids, like many of their friends, do not need anything for their birthdays. Moreover, the things that they do want are way beyond what a child their age should even be considering. For Christmas, our then 9-year old daughter asked for a laptop. A laptop! In a house that already has three computers! Where do they get these ideas? It is the society that they are growing up in, and I don’t know how to let them know that these are not the normal things of childhood. Children need skipping ropes, soccer balls, sketching books, playing cards, dice, bouncy balls, bubbles, snorkels, and great storybooks.
So, as I contemplate another birthday in our home, I am struggling to find a way to celebrate, but also appreciate, to be giving, but not indulgent, and to create traditions that are memorable because they are meaningful – not simply because they are extravagant and Disney- like. But more than all of that, I want my child to feel that they are special and loved, by a family that gathers to share cake and candles.
