The Me in Mean

For the short time that he was talking, my inner voice said, “Don’t take offense. Be calm. Validate his emotions. ….”  

A broken down, un-tended vehicle does not perform as smoothly as one that is well cared for.

There are some crazy busy weeks in our house. There are some emotional rollercoaster rides. There are some physical knock-em-sock-em battles. We have weathered many storms—together, and side-by-side. But we remain helpless on the battlefield that goes unseen—the one that exists in the confines of the brain.

Each of us carries our thoughts like stolen candy: to be hidden and brought out only when we are sure that no one is looking—lest we be incriminated for them. As I have aged, wisdom has come, but it has also been illusory. On this one thing…the thoughts, conversations and full-length movies that play in my brain, I continue to struggle for wisdom. How can I pause the movie, and tune in to what is actually happening? Or, more importantly, when I continue to live inside my head (and therefore behave poorly) how do I rewind, so that I can have another “take”, and come closer to what is required, what is needed?

In the end, I never, ever feel good when I have treated someone in an unkind way—or without thought to his or her feelings. In fact, it is often my behavior that ruins my day, not the incident itself. I have studied and read a lot about catching our thoughts, and trying to reshape them right in the midst of living. I still cannot do this effectively. However, I am not going to give up… anything is possible.

When you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel.

David D. Burns