I am MOM

I am MOM
If I knew then what I know now . . .
"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'"
Erma Bombeck

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The tools you need for conflict.....

Faven and Yohannes are prone to name-calling and baiting one another, more than any other combination of children we have raised in our home.  It is a marvel to behold, one person, so perfectly aggravating another.  In the plethora of parenting seminars I have taken in the last few years, I am continuously learning and practicing new tools - filling up my toolbox.

Yesterday, Faven and Yohannes were into round three of their morning match - when I called them to me.
Mom: Guys, I notice that you are fighting more with each other this morning, can you tell me what is going on?
Faven: He called me a Chicken!
Mom: Oh..... I bet that didn't feel very good.
Faven: No, it hurt my feelings!
Yohannes: Whatever.
 (Faven launches herself at Yohannes)
Mom: Faven, we don't use our hands (or feet, or bodies) to tell someone how we feel; we use our words.
Faven: He is bothering me!
Mom: Remember that you can't control Yohannes' behaviour or words, you can only control how you react to it.  You can chose to walk away.
  (thinking out loud)... hmmm, it sounds like you guys need some more tools to solve this problem....
Yohannes: Give me a hammer, so I can whack her on the head!