Our Model Child

Faven came home from school keen to practice something with Yohannes and Lauren.  Lauren has been sick all week, so Yohannes eagerly stepped up to the plate.  From what I could gather, Faven and her friends are having a ‘talent show’ of sorts at school and she needed Yohannes to be the other ‘friend’ in the skit.  She showed him what to do, and then asked him to do it.  It looked pretty much like a model walking down the runway, complete with sass and attitude. 

Yohannes is not a stranger to being turned into a girl; nor is he a stranger to sass and attitude.  Honestly, he wears it well.   So when it came time to pour it on and head down the catwalk, he was all over it.  Faven was his performance coach, and Lauren and I simply sat back on the couch to watch.

After a couple of runs with only minor modifications Yohannes said, “I’ll be right back.”

I had a feeling that I knew what he was up to.  While he was gone, I asked Faven, “Where do you think he’s gone?”

She had no idea.  “I think he is gone to put on a dress” I offered.

“He better not be in my room! Or he is going to get it” she said.

“Settle down” I told her, “You asked him to pretend to be a girl in the first place.”

Just then Yohannes sashayed back in.  It would seem that he had gone for implants in the brief time that he was gone.  We howled.  He spun around and revealed his new B cup.  But that is not all!

He lined up for his walk down the runway, with a look of cat-like femininity.  He strutted towards us, and he paused before his pirouette and gave his mock-breast a little squeeze (while winking in our direction).  It produced a big squeak, and our dog Abby came barreling in – turning in circles, somewhat confused.  We all peeled with laughter as we realized that Yohannes’ implants were a dumbbell shaped squeaky dog toy.  The dumbbell was just the right length to give him two identical bumps right across his chest.

No one enjoyed this little prank more than Yohannes, in fact he was laughing so hard he fell right off the imaginary catwalk, his breasts squeaking all the way down!

Traction

I was very smart, intuitive really, to have booked my vehicle in a few days ago to have the winter tires put on.  This morning we are experiencing our first snowfall of the season; the roads are extremely slippery and everyone is driving as slow as if this phenomenon never happens here in Calgary.  I would be feeling smug, except that the tires for our (now gone) 2002 Odyssey did not fit our 2006 Odyssey.  They would fit the rims, I was told, but the slight difference in tire size would affect the speedometer by 5%.  So what? - I gestured.  Anything greater than 3% was unacceptable.  Ugh!

I could not have known it was going to snow this year on November 4^th – not really.  But I am still discouraged to be alternately spinning my tires and sliding through intersections while (ironically) there are four snow tires in the back!  It feels unjust.  In my life, I take the extra step to be adequately prepared – and when that doesn’t pay off, it is disheartening.

Perhaps I spend too much time preparing for the eventualities of life. However, it makes me feel more ready: emotionally, mentally, and physically, for the changing of the seasons within my life.  But so much of our lives are unknown, beyond our control or ability to prepare. Though I have learned that I can’t get ready for every situation, event, or season, I think that by attuning my priorities each season I naturally shift the flow of energy to what I can manage. It is however, a moving target!

At this time of year, when the sun tucks in earlier and earlier, I find I need a larger circle of support with frequent points of contact, yet less interaction and stimulation.  This is the hardest time of year for me to get some traction, maybe for most people. 

The truth is, it doesn’t really matter if I have snow tires, or not; I do have fuel and if I didn’t have fuel, well, I would still have money – or I would stay home! My priorities remain consistent throughout the year (or so I think), but my capacity to move beyond the top three: self-care, marriage and parenting, is hampered.  And so I will start the season without snow tires; fully equipped in other ways that will compensate for the loss of traction on certain days.  And when I find myself low on fuel or energy I will stay home, or if needed call (you) for a boost.