Flyer Karaoke - Unzipped

Here is another look at the post from December 19th. All of the song lyrics are highlighted in green. There are 21 songs! At the bottom, you will see the name and artist for each song. 

Here I am, dancing in Ethiopia - I like to dance just as much as I like to sing. I am equally talented at both. :(

Happy New Year!

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My bags are packed, I’m ready to go—I’m covered in gortex from head to toe. Once outside I see skies of blue and clouds of white, and the brightness of the day, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world. And then, as I am walking along humming a tune, drinking in sunshine, out of that orange-colored view—wham, bam, alakazam, I got too much to do! With the dog and the sleigh, and me in my winter best, singing and dancing and taking no rest, I pull and I heave, and I hear voices say, “Isn’t she lovely… isn’t she wonderful.”

The smile spreads across my face and through my body, like a shiver in the sun.

It seems that flyer walkin’ is something shockin’, when your feet just can’t keep still, I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will. But, as I walk and I walk and I walk, I find that walking gets too boring, when you learn how to fly. I spin around, and take off. I danced in the morning when the world was begun, I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun, I came down from heaven and I danced on earth, I delivered my flyers even though they had no worth!

If the kids saw me dancing amidst snow and sun, they would be embarrassed instead of seeing the fun. Baby, I was born this way! And I’m the same old girl that I used to be, I haven’t changed at all—got the same old walk, the same old talk, only I stumble now and fall. You know, I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying A-YO! Gotta let go! I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying A-YO! Baby, let’s go! What?! Did you think I’d crumble; did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no, not I—I will survive!

But, since the route is new, and I don’t know what to do, let this be my prayer: when we lose our way, lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, to a place where we’ll be safe. And deep in December, it’s nice to remember, the fire of September that made us mellow. But, it’s also hard because the cold freezes my toes, and I find that the feeling is gone, and I can’t get it back. Lost and cold and alone I mumble, country roads, take me home to the place I belong.

And to think, I left a good job in the city, workin’ for the man every night and day, and I never lost one minute of sleepin’ worrying about the way things might have been. ‘Cause I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love. But now, the route is so long, the roads are so slippery that the pressure is on—I feel it, but I’ve got it all—believe it…

When you fall - get up (oh, oh),

If you fall-  get up (eh, eh).

Slipping and stumbling along my route, and I gotta stop and pick up dog poop! It ain’t all fine. The day is long—and the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light I’ll see. NO, I won’t be afraid. Oh, I won’t be afraid, just as long as you stand—stand by me. But the flyers must be done with the setting of the sun, because when evening comes around, and it’s time to go to town, where do I go…to rock and roll! Where do I go…to rock and roll.

So when you hear that I am frolicking playfully as I bring the junk that clogs your mail, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.

In order: (21 Songs!)

Leaving on a Jet Plane – Chantal Kreviazuk (original - John Denver)

What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong

Orange Colored Sky – Natalie Cole

Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder

Crocodile Rock – Elton John

Gypsy – Shakira

Lord of the Dance - Michael Flatley

Born This Way – Lady Gaga

Rhumba Girl – Nicolette Larson

Dynamite – Taio Cruz

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

The Prayer – Andrea Bocelli & Celine Dion

Try to Remember – John McDermott (I bet only my father-in-law got that one!)

If you Could Read my Mind –

Country Roads – John Denver

Proud Mary – Glee Cast (original - Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Can’t Buy Me Love – The Beatles

Waka Waka – Shakira

Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Your Momma Don’t Dance – Veronica Martell (original - Loggins and Messina)

Imagine – John Lennon

A hidden jewel

Her skin, the colour of honeyed bark, is marked by scars from early life. She attempts to hide behind a thick layer of foundation, liberally re-applied throughout the day. The tight curls of her coarse brown hair are pulled and seared into a stiff Barbie-like coif, or twisted tightly into a lengthy weave. With near-perfect teeth, her smile is a delight when it is spontaneously revealed. Her almond-shaped eyes, a beacon of mood, light up when she’s pleased, and cut through another like butter when she is angry, hurt or confused.

She speaks with a melodic yet stumbling accent that is indiscernible to most. A delightful lilt and tumble that at once can become so shrill with excitement that it vibrates the eardrum of another with such frequency as to instill insanity. There is no mystery in her articulation for she is expressive across all ranges of the auditory (and indeed—emotional) scale.

Long and lithe are her legs, and yet she is only a smidge taller than five feet. Round blossoming muscles accent her slender arms, and she is apt to flex and reveal her burgeoning strength when challenged. However, stick-like she is not, as her once boyish figure has sprouted and swelled to create eye-catching, mood-enhancing curves.

With clothing, she speaks another language altogether. It comes second, in importance, only to hair and make-up—all of which come before trivial matters such as breakfast and showering. With limbs and lobes bedazzled with bangles and beads, she jingles with a rhythm inherent in her expressive nature.

Karaoke Flyers

I am so committed to flyers, that I really think I ought to be committed. There is something so viable about being out in the community accomplishing something –even when that “something” is delivering a bunch of papers that the majority of people will move directly from their mailbox to their recycling bin. Still, it has its rewards.

This week I recruited our dog Abby. She is now our sleigh dog! Remember the wagon that I bought at Canadian Tire; it converts to a sled. I put the bright red sleigh runners on; I harnessed Abby, and hooked her up to the weighted down sled. YES, I did put on her jingle bell collar—but I held back on the reindeer antlers! (I’m not an idiot!)

This week, in a moment of incoherent idiocy, I agreed to do a second route—by myself—because they are so short of carriers! (Committed? No contest.)

I recently made an I-Sing playlist, consisting of fourty of my favourite sing-alongs, from “Sweet Home Alabama” to “Baby I was Born This Way”. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it out. So, with winter gear, bright blue earphones, aviator sunglasses, and my sleigh dog—I headed out. As well as singing, I really couldn’t help grooving along. You might think that it would be hard with snow boots on, and drifting snow up to your shins, but I was up for the challenge! Imagine the disco-style of John Travolta with the vocals of the “The Supremes”, but without the dazzling dress, fake hair, make-up or high heels (Travolta, or the Supremes, take your pick).

For a little bit of fun, I decided to share some of the lyrics with you. But the challenge is: you will have to find them in the next paragraphs. Good luck!

(If you feel compelled, send me a reply at wflemons@me.com, and tell me as many of the song names and/or artists you find. It would make me smile—and it is the season of giving!) 
Start the voice recording here (it will help). https://soundcloud.com/story-catcher/karaoke-flyers

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My bags are packed, I’m ready to go—I’m covered in gortex from head to toe. Once outside I see skies of blue and clouds of white, and the brightness of the day, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world. And then, as I am walking along humming a tune, drinking in sunshine, out of that orange-colored view—wham, bam, alakazam, I got too much to do! With the dog and the sleigh, and me in my winter best, singing and dancing and taking no rest, I pull and I heave, and I hear voices say, “Isn’t she lovely… isn’t she wonderful.”

The smile spreads across my face and through my body, like a shiver in the sun.

It seems that flyer walkin’ is something shockin’, when your feet just can’t keep still, I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will. But, as I walk and I walk and I walk, I find that walking gets too boring, when you learn how to fly. I spin around, and take off. I danced in the morning when the world was begun, I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun, I came down from heaven and I danced on earth, I delivered my flyers even though they had no worth!

If the kids saw me dancing amidst snow and sun, they would be embarrassed instead of seeing the fun. Baby, I was born this way! And I’m the same old girl that I used to be, I haven’t changed at all—got the same old walk, the same old talk, only I stumble now and fall. You know, I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying A-YO! Gotta let go! I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying A-YO! Baby, let’s go! What?! Did you think I’d crumble; did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no, not I—I  will survive!

But, since the route is new, and I don’t know what to do, let this be my prayer: when we lose our way, lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, to a place where we’ll be safe. And deep in December, it’s nice to remember, the fire of September that made us mellow. But, it’s also hard because the cold freezes my toes, and I find that the feeling is gone, and I can’t get it back. Lost and cold and alone I mumble, country roads, take me home to the place I belong.

And to think, I left a good job in the city, workin’ for the man every night and day, and I never lost one minute of sleepin’ worrying about the way things might have been. ‘Cause I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love. But now, the route is so long, the roads are so slippery that the pressure is on—I feel it, but I’ve got it all—believe it…

When you fall - get up (oh, oh),

If you fall-  get up (eh, eh).

Slipping and stumbling along my route, and I gotta stop and pick up dog poop! It ain’t all fine. The day is long—and the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light I’ll see. NO, I won’t be afraid. Oh, I won’t be afraid, just as long as you stand—stand by me. But the flyers must be done with the setting of the sun, because when evening comes around, and it’s time to go to town, where do I go…to rock and roll! Where do I go…to rock and roll.

So when you hear that I am frolicking playfully as I bring the junk that clogs your mail, you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.

Sleeping Together

Picture taken by Michéle L.

My mom has offered to come and look after our kids/pets/flyer route and home in January or February for a week or so, to give my husband and I a break from the daily grind that we occasionally refer to as hell-on-wheels!

I had told our girls about it, and they thought it was a good idea. “You should go”, they both said. Nice.

But when I spoke to Yohannes about the idea, he was less sure. Here is the conversation that we had.

“Yohannes, Grama said that she would come and stay with you guys for a week or ten days so that Dad and I can go away together”, I said.

He stared at me, puzzled, “Why would you want to do that?”

“Uhhh….so we can spend some time together—alone.”

“But you get to spend every single night together alone, sleeping.”

Good point! Cancel the trip.

Flyer Fanatic

I know that everyone is waiting to hear how the Flemons’ flyer route is going.

We got a new route! We got a new wagon. It was the last wagon at Canadian Tire, and it can convert to a sleigh! It was definitely a sign. 

Now (in theory) we can walk from our house to our route. 

Since the new route is closer to home, I had the ridiculous notion that the kids would know where we were, and therefore would require less supervision. I have one word for that—HA!

Our whole route is built on a U-shaped drive—like a horseshoe! So, it seemed our luck was changing. Not so. On our first day, I sent Faven and Yohannes to do flyers on a loop, and they were to rejoin Laurèn and I on the main drive. They never appeared. It got dark. My heart started to palpitate.

Laurèn made her way home and I went to retrieve the van so that I could search for the kids. Because I am directionally challenged, I have a ton of empathy for others who may turn left when they should have turned right. I have been known to lose my car at a mall, only because I came out the wrong set of mall doors!

I drove down the streets slowly, but I could not find them anywhere. I put my hand to my forehead in anguish and then decided to drive in the opposite direction from where they should have been. This time, I rolled the windows down. As I was inching along the drive, I heard a familiar voice yell - “MOM”. I stopped. Faven was sitting on the curb, all alone and miserable. Her and Yohannes had a fight about which street exactly they were supposed to deliver flyers to, and where they were supposed to meet up with us. So, in the 40 minutes since I had last seen them, they had managed to deliver ZERO flyers, and had spent the time hurling insults and ice balls at each other! For no extra charge, we are doing advertising for the flyer company. (Teach your kids to be responsible – like mine!)

My husband recently told someone, “I think that [Wendy] takes on too many things”. He was, tacitly, referring to the flyer route that I hadn’t even considered discussing with him. But perhaps just as questionable, in his mind, are my commitments to: managing soccer teams, fostering furry felines, and family fundraising for Animal Shelters, World Wildlife Foundation and Earth Rangers—not to mention the work we do together for Canadian Humanitarian.

No one is going to accuse me of not supporting my kid’s ideas. Hmmm… But, this flyer route really feels like a do-or-die situation. Our kids want for nothing. We are blessed with all of the things that we need, or even want. Ward and I did not grow up like this, and it creates a lot of angst in me that our kids are not learning the value of a dollar, or how to make their own way in the world. Moreover, I really want them to be independent one day.

I suppose that I do go the extra mile—maybe the laminated maps and cards I made with the route broken down into chunks was a bit much—but I think my kids appreciate the support—even though they haven’t yet perfected the art of expressing that to me.

Parenting is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I came back from our recent trip to Ethiopia renewed by the idea that it is also the most important work that I have to do, right now.  If I have any opportunity to change the world, it starts here at home, one flyer at a time.

This is Faven last night, during the blizzard- she came out of a driveway and stumbled right into this snowbank!

Flyer Fool

My sister recently left her sprawling country acreage for the densely populated and buzzing city of Montréal. She was heading east for job-related training. When I found out, I felt this sagging heaviness right at the bottom of my rib cage. Training? Montréal? Again? Oh.

I am yearning to be sent away for job-related training (by myself). I am feeling a wee bit jealous. But, according to my kids—I don’t even have a job. And even if I did successfully debate that topic with them, it isn’t a job with training in Montréal, or Narnia for that matter. Nope. I have to stay right here. All my training is, on-the-job. The exhilarating thing about my job-related training is that I often land in the midst of it, as if I were dropped straight down a rabbit hole!

Recently, some fool in our house found a notice in the mailbox, it read:

            CARRIERS WANTED FOR DELIVERIES IN THIS AREA

            ADULTS – Great exercise, lose weight and pay off those credit cards.

            CHILDREN – Learn responsibility and earn extra money.

            FAMILIES – Great for family bonding, earn that vacation together.

That same fool placed it in the kitchen where the kids might notice it. The two youngest were enthused about the prospect of getting a job, and making money. They begged me to inquire. And, so I did.

The one who is married to the fool arrived home from work, and was bombarded by the enthusiasm of two kids who were prospecting about their first job. A job? Wow! They gave him their ten- and eleven-year-old version of the job. “All we have to do is deliver some flyers and we get a hundred and fifty dollars a month!”

He casually strolled into the kitchen as the kids peppered him with the details of their new adventure. There, he found the fool at the counter, sorting through the debris of family life. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Do you think this is a good idea?” he asked.

“Of course it is!” replied the fool, “It will be good for them to see how it feels to work and get paid. It will be exciting!”

The one married to the fool raised an eyebrow, and muttered, “I wonder who will be delivering the flyers after the first week.”

The fool?

That same fool has been known to sing or sigh the parenting mantra:

♫ ♪   There is no life like it. :(

Motherhood provides amazing opportunities: challenges, for which there are no training facilities; situations that no policy and procedure manual could possibly cover and (yes!) opportunities that will require self-sacrifice.

So, in the confines of my home, while my sister was cavorting with intellectual beings in Montréal, I was being debriefed on the nuances of delivering flyers…one hundred and twenty-seven of them.

The flyers arrived outside our garage on a snowy day; the temperature had peaked at -14 C. After school the kids loaded the bundles of flyers into our van. It filled the entire back section—with the seats down. (Okay, I thought…so the wagon is out.) I made the assumption that the flyers arrived bundled and ready to go.

On the night before our first run, our oldest son Fraser and his girlfriend Chelsea came over. The younger kids enthused about their new job. The optimism of Laurèn and Yohannes had perked an interest in their older sister Faven. So, all three kids were on board.  During the chatter, I heard Chelsea say, “We did flyers when we were kids too…the hardest part was sorting all of the flyers into packages.”

Wha…? Huh? Hold on.

The following morning I woke up with a gnawing anxiety. Was there a step that I had missed? I checked our distribution list, which listed the thirty-seven flyers that were in the bundles. Then I went to the van to check the contents of the bundles. Sure enough, there were three different bundles. My chest heaved. I carried all the bundles into the house; I sorted them into piles; I cut pieces of yarn to tie them up with, and I began the onerous task of sorting and stacking the flyers into bins and bags. Two hours later, after my second cup of coffee, I was not yet finished. I parceled out the packages of flyers into groups of ten; a bundle of ten (stuffed) flyers weighed twenty-seven pounds. I had moved over 300 pounds of paper (twice) that morning—and we hadn’t even begun the delivery!! 

The afternoon of our first delivery arrived. The temperature gauge had risen to a pleasant -1 C, however, the brisk easterly wind made it feel more like -15. We arrived at the beginning of our route just after 4:15 pm; we clambered out of the van. I gave each child a cart, filled with flyers, and a map. They looked at me, they looked at the map; they looked left, and then right—and then their whole bodies asked the unspoken question, now what?

I had overestimated my children’s abilities. Only one out of three could actually read a map. Another one was so distracted that the fast pace I had envisioned – disappeared like mist. It became apparent that I was quickly being demoted from foreman to front line worker. I grabbed a bag of flyers and we set off. Slowly, my map-reader got it, and I could release two of them to cover one street. My highly distracted (but most enthusiastic) worker kept wandering off task, and off road in every direction possible. Moreover, he had lost his map, and had become completely dependent on me.

And then, the unthinkable happened—the sun went down. My list, which was an 8 or 10 font, became completely unreadable to me. I became reliant on my wandering partner Yohannes. He read out the house numbers, and then we each had to memorize our numbers. As I walked along my section, chanting the house numbers out loud so that I would remember them, he yelled at me from his section, “Was it 56 or 46…or 34?”

Just when I was about to pitch headfirst into a snow bank and end it all – my husband’s little red car appeared, as if by magic. (I still have no idea how he found us—wandering in the dark, camouflaged in winter gear, miles from our house). He lowered the window and asked me if we needed any help. I was speechless. I admitted that I had lost the girls, but pointed in the direction that I had last seen them, and sent him to find them.

Almost two hours after we had left our house, we completed our route. Well, almost completed it; somehow we ended up being eleven flyers short. I wondered if that would be cause for dismissal.

In the end I guess I am the fool, but I am a fool with a plan. My plan is to assist and empower my kids in the hope that someday they will be responsible, independent, and proud. And ultimately, I hope that the day will come when they are standing in the freezing cold supporting their own child to do something of value.