We had somehow made it through the Christmas season without much in the form of religious tradition. This was, somewhat unusual for us, but not surprising, given the fact that we were, due to a series of events, without a church home. So, we missed the build up of Jesus’ birthday that normally happens through participating in Advent activities at church and culminates in the Christmas pageant. In fact, we missed the build-up to Christmas entirely, as we chose to do most of our shopping on-line. We simply woke up one day, and lo-and-behold, it was Christmas.
It is amazing to me, how my kids wait with excited anticipation for the last day of school, for their older siblings to finish University exams and re-join the family, and for the day that they can do nothing, hang out all day, and simply be together. For our family, and I suspect – most families, the excitement soon wears off! A few days after Christmas had come and gone, after the leftovers have been scraped from their plastic holding cells and after the nine-hundredth round of I’m bored, what can we do – my kids were driving each other crazy.
And so it was, when Faven and I were enjoying a rare quiet moment together amidst the fray, that her brother pushed her a bit too far. Christmas holidays are probably one of Yohannes’ favorite times of the year, as there are simply more people around, and being a gamely extrovert, he revs up, like a racecar at the Grand Prix. Given his propensity for socialization, he will bump, push and prod anyone and everyone who is within his radar to play with him – or at the very least, to notice him. He was relentless in his pursuit of Faven, and she told him twice to go away. Asking Yohannes to go away is like putting cheese in a mousetrap. The third time that he came towards Faven and I, she turned and screamed at him with the intensity of a football coach running drills - “Yohannes…JESUS CHRIST!”
Between her utterance and the tornado of words that flew out of Ward’s mouth there was not even the thinnest puff of breath. Faven was visibly shaken. As her face contorted, revealing her irrepressible emotions, she looked at me and asked, “What’d I did?”
I made a hasty attempt to settle her down, while somehow conveying the seriousness of the situation. I explained that saying, Jesus Christ, in that way was a swear word. She tried to tell me that she didn’t know – and yet, she used it so perfectly inappropriately, that I had my doubts. It was likely that she did not understand where on the scale of ‘bad words’ it sat. Her tears were most likely based on the reaction that she got from her dad. However, she needed support, and in fact all of the kids needed to understand why dad had reacted so passionately, so quickly.
Faven cried and shook for the next twenty minutes, without moving from her chair at the kitchen island. Everyone returned to what they were doing prior to the infraction and eventually, supper was served. I had to physically move Faven over to the dinner table, where she continued to cry and moan. As she started to calm down we began to talk about who Jesus is, what significance he has to Christians, and why screaming his name in anger at another individual was wrong. And then we shifted to talking about making mistakes, and the fact that we all make mistakes. We were able to name this event as a mistake. We were able to talk about how some mistakes are smaller – and how parents react differently to smaller mistakes than bigger ones. Ward apologized for scaring Faven and yet he believed that she learned something larger for the intensity of his reaction. Then, just to be clear, we talked about all of the other bad words that are not allowed, or considered inappropriate.
Faven recovered and so did we.
The very next day, Faven, Yohannes and I were driving to pick Lauren up at the ranch where she goes to horse club. Upon entering and leaving the ranch, you have to open and close a few gates. I had just passed through the final gate and clambered out to close it. As I took a step toward the gate – the van started to roll past me, picking up speed. In breathtaking alarm I uttered, “Jesus Christ!”
Pause for a moment and think about that. Honestly, do they have a comedy team in heaven writing this stuff?? And are they all leaning back on a comfy cloud laughing their heads off right now?
I swiftly slid back into the driver’s seat, and realized that I had put the van into reverse instead of park! Both kids were completely speechless. We drove up the hill and parked the van and got out. Yohannes took my hand as we walked through the fields to catch up to the kids that were out on a sleigh ride.
He gently said to me, “Mom, you said that word that Faven did.”
“Yes,” I humbly admitted, “I did.”
Like the gentle observer that he is, he said, “I guess even you make mistakes.”
“Yes I do”, I replied.
And so, we went through the entire Christmas season without intentionally subscribing to the doctrines of Jesus Christ’s birth; but it found us anyway.
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