“Try as we will, we cannot escape the making of mistakes. But fortunately, the ever humbling cycle of growing strong roots comes from eating what grows from our own shit, from digesting and processing our own humanity. […] What we trample and leave behind fertilizes what will feed us. No one is exempt. […] We evolve in spite of our limitations, and though we break and make mistakes, we are always mysteriously more than what is broken.”
Excerpt from, The Book of Awakening, Mark Nepo, 2000, pp 183-184
I know that my life experience has made me into who I am today. (But, let’s be clear, that does not make the hard stuff any easier!) And I understand that the mystery of living does not lie in fixing all that is broken. Sometimes it is simply sitting with the broken and learning to live with it. Broken might be the path. But broken doesn’t feel very good. It doesn’t fit with the achievement-based society that we live in.
What I feel drawn to in this reflection is the phrase, “we are always mysteriously more than what is broken”.
Broken, as in a broken arm; it will heal.
Broken, as in broken hearted; time will soothe.
Broken, as in imperfectly made; it will continue to meet our gaze through our whole lives.
Not even strong relationships can always manage brokenness. Admitting to feeling broken, whether fleeting or long term is to risk being vulnerable. Being vulnerable takes courage as well as wisdom. Not everyone is going to be a good audience for your stories, which is why we most often answer the question: How are you? with the inconsequential: I am fine, how are you?
Feelings of being broken can courageously be managed from within, but to risk enough to include a trusted other, will calm the soul. We can cultivate roots by embracing the mystery that is our lives, and stepping forward with faith and grace, knowing that we are infinitely more than that which is broken.
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