Bent But Not Broken

I recently injured my back.  It turns out to be a fairly significant injury to my disc at L4-5 (low back).  I am not supposed to do any lifting, bending, or twisting and I need to minimize the time that I stand, sit and drive.  I do not care what your job is—these restrictions would make any job difficult.  Mine has come to a grinding halt.

I was setting up some in-house help, so that things wouldn’t completely fall apart, and the woman who I called was very sympathetic to my plight.  During our conversation, she said, “Well, at least you have children.” (pause) I also have pets, but I would hardly call them an asset at this particular juncture.  I had a sneaking suspicion that she did not have any children, so I could hardly fault her for making the assumption that anyone would make. 

Well, it is true, I do have kids!  I am blessed! It is also true that I would not be in this situation IF I did not have kids.  For the injury that I have is a bending-over-and-picking-up-my-kids-crap, kind of injury!! It is a strain of parenting that you cannot anticipate.  And truly, it can be something like a shoe or a sock that “takes you down”. My kids shed their garments like a snake sheds it’s skin—but with greater frequency!  Our floor is looking like the grounds after a day at the Calgary Stampede.  The best I can do is to kick the wayward articles into one heaping pile.  If I can pile it high enough, I can ju-ust reach it without bending over.

In the initial days after the injury, I carried on and did the best that I could given the circumstances.  That only made things worse for me.  I broke the news to the kids that they would now have to pitch in and do the lion’s share of my job – you can imagine their elation.  The one child, who you think would be the most helpful and understanding, began a sulk that has rivaled Ghandi’s hunger strike!  Another child follows me around as if I am no longer able to perform the most basic tasks, like going to the bathroom – “Mom, are you okay in there?  Do you need any help? Remember not to bend down.” And thank goodness for the third child, as that one is blessed with the characteristic of being a natural helper.  When he was in pre-school, he used to help all the “little” kids with their buttons and zippers in the coatroom. (That has sure come in handy, as he can now help me!)

However, it has not been smooth; the first morning that the kids were “on-duty”, I told them of the chores that needed to be done before school.  If this were stand-up comedy, it would have been hilarious.  One child was asked to wash the few dishes soaking in the sink.  Another one was asked to scoop the kitty litter.  Awhile later, they asked me to drive them to school.  I asked them how the chores went (while convalescing in an anti-gravity lawn chair, in the front room).  One of them said, “Oh, I forgot, and I don’t have time to do it now”, and the other one said, “You wanted me to do that now?”  I reminded them through gritted teeth that these daily chores were NOT optional!

I would be remiss if I did not mention my husband, who goes into over-drive during these kinds of circumstances.  That is a blessing indeed! It is unfortunate that he has also had to manage being on-call at the hospital.  Our community has also been a great support in taking kids to and from soccer.

We all know that we are more than our physical symptoms.  My life has been stressful (by times), and I have no doubt that this has played into the injury, even if only because my muscles were so tight.  According to author Louise Hay,  “Ignoring your body just makes it try harder to get your attention—your body is asking for your help.” Further, she says, the back “represents the support of life”; so what better way for me to heal than to ask my family members to be the support in my life.