For the short time that he was talking, my
inner voice said, “Don’t take offense. Be calm. Validate his emotions. ….”
A broken down, un-tended vehicle does not
perform as smoothly as one that is well cared for.
There are some crazy busy weeks in our
house. There are some emotional rollercoaster rides. There are some physical
knock-em-sock-em battles. We have weathered many storms—together, and
side-by-side. But we remain helpless on the battlefield that goes unseen—the
one that exists in the confines of the brain.
Each of us carries our thoughts like stolen
candy: to be hidden and brought out only when we are sure that no one is
looking—lest we be incriminated for them. As I have aged, wisdom has come, but it
has also been illusory. On this one thing…the thoughts, conversations and
full-length movies that play in my brain, I continue to struggle for wisdom.
How can I pause the movie, and tune in to what is actually happening? Or, more importantly, when I continue to live
inside my head (and therefore behave poorly) how do I rewind, so that I can have
another “take”, and come closer to what is required, what is needed?
In the end, I never, ever feel good when I
have treated someone in an unkind way—or without thought to his or her
feelings. In fact, it is often my behavior that ruins my day, not the incident
itself. I have studied and read a lot about catching our thoughts, and trying
to reshape them right in the midst of living. I still cannot do this effectively. However, I am not going to give
up… anything is possible.
When
you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel.
David D. Burns
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