Captain’s log, Star Date 11192014. Our destination is planet
crazy.
The Captain arrived home at 9:50 pm, after a grueling match
on the pitch, against the Phoenix. In the captain’s absence, the crew was given
instructions to perform maintenance on the UFF Enterprise—to return it to its
former glory, and to put it into quiet
mode by 9:15 pm. It was a careless tactic on the part of the captain, as she
knew the crew was not quite ready, but she had little option because the First Officer
had departed earlier in the day. He was leading a mission to the planet Ontario,
in an attempt to reform the Ferengi Alliance.
On re-entering the ship, the Captain found chaos and many
objects strewn about. In alarm, she ran through the ship searching for the
crew, noting damage at every turn. It must have been a grueling battle.
Thankfully, the crew seemed to have escaped the imagined battle unscathed—the Captain
ascertained that the crew, by turning on every light in the ship, blinded the
enemy, who then fled.
The Chief Security Officer was grooving in the corridor
while brushing his teeth to the blare of “Trumpets”, oblivious to the captain’s
arrival…the time of day…the task at hand…etc. The Diplomatic Officer was taking
cover in the confines of her quarters, watching 90201, and undoubtedly getting
tips on how to resolve relationship conflict. She too was largely unaware of
the ship’s change in course, as her headphones prevented any distraction from
the task at hand. And the Strategic Operations Officer was training the furry
foster hound in the lounge, in case there was another attack. (And there
WAS…the Captain started detonating immediately!)
Midnight – The Strategic Operations Officer flings herself
into the Captain’s cabin and flips on the light. The Captain simply groans. The
crewmember has no strategy for sleep, and climbs in with the Captain, bringing
along the newly acquired furry, foster hound.
1:00 am – The furry, foster fiend begins to howl at the end
of the Captain’s bed, bringing her attention to an intruder. The light reveals
that it was the resident feline, coming to unseat the interloper from the end
of the bed. A battle ensued.
3:32 am – The frantic foster fiend jumps from the bed and
skids down the corridor. He overlooks the deck,
and his chaotic yelping reverberates off the walls, causing all crewmembers to
awaken.
3:39 am – The Chief Security Officer enters the Captain’s
quarters to advise her that he is unable to secure a good sleep. She shoots a
cacophony of scathing statements toward him, and wounded, he heads to Sick Bay.
3:42 am – The f…ing foster fiend paces
and then whines his plea to go relieve himself. The Captain escorts him down to
the transporter room. They end up in a dog run (in the midst of winter) and the
fiend completes his business while
the Captain shivers in her pajamas.
4:00 am – The infuriating foster fiend continues to pace and
howl, at the wind…the creaking of the planks in the corridor…the sound of
crewmembers breathing…the voice of God…
6:00 am – An alarm sounds in the quarters of The Diplomatic
Officer, and (you guessed it) the ferocious foster fiend leaps into action, barking
and careening down the corridor at break-neck speed, to investigate the alarm. The
Captain gets up and heads to the Ready Room where she can get a bit of peace
and quiet; she free pours Irish Cream into her coffee.
Sounds like typical family chaos. Hang in there!
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